


The Urge to Fall

by ArcadeYouthUnknown



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Character Study, Episode: s02e09 The Satan Pit, F/M, Introspection, Not Beta Read, The Doctor Loves Rose Tyler
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 07:48:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27200053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArcadeYouthUnknown/pseuds/ArcadeYouthUnknown
Summary: He had always planned on saying it. Someday. When the time was right. When the sun was lighting up her piercing brown eyes just perfectly, and the breeze was keeping her hair that she refused to tie up properly just out of her face. On a day where it was just them, and a new planet, and no worries in the world. He would tell her.
Relationships: Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler
Comments: 5
Kudos: 24





	The Urge to Fall

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little ficlet into the mind of the Doctor as he almost confesses his love for Rose.

The Doctor swallowed hard. The chit chat to Ida had slowly grown to a stop, and, after bidding her a melancholy "Thank you" in place of a farewell, he couldn't help but turn his mind to Rose.

Rose. Up there on the surface of the planet. His wonderful, brave little flower who has proven herself so much in the last couple of days. Between keeping him grounded after losing the TARDIS, and her stepping up to find a place within this little society, she really has been his shining star. With the comms down, he has no way of talking to her. No way of saying goodbye to the one person he needed to say it to the most. 

"If they get back in touch… if you talk to Rose,"

He had to say something. There's no way of telling how long of a fall he's got. And if he's being honest to himself, it felt like a lot more than 30 feet. He had always planned on saying it. Someday. When the time was right. When the sun was lighting up her piercing brown eyes just perfectly, and the breeze was keeping her hair that she refused to tie up properly just out of her face. On a day where it was just them, and a new planet, and no worries in the world. He would tell her. He would.

But now he ran out of time. For a Time Lord, that seemed to happen to him a lot. He couldn't just not tell her. She deserves to hear those words. 

"just tell her..."

He started to form the words on his lips, but couldn't quite get them out. 

Why not? He's long since stopped denying his feelings for her. Even after trying to distance himself by showing her why they can't be together, the curse of the Time Lords, he couldn’t help but fall further and further in love. It was like the harder he tried to pull away, the harder he felt magnetized towards her. He tried again.

"Tell her…"

Again, the words were right there, but he stopped short. Flashes of her face came into his vision. That little smile she gets whenever she says something cheeky. The way her eyes shine when he tells her how amazing she is. The image of her kissing his helmet just hours earlier. 

Suddenly he realizes - this isn't right. He can't tell her, not like this. Not without her right there in front of him, a smile playing on her lips as he says it. Not in a way that deprives her from seeing him finally saying the words she's always wanted to hear. Not secondhand from Ida, a woman she just met and barely knows. It's not fair to her, she deserves so much more.

The images change to them together. All the times that he's shown it. A man, older, with a look of desperation as he looks at a younger Rose. "I could save the world but lose you". The same man, kissing her, giving his life to save hers. How relieved he was once Cassandra left her body for good. And the hugs, oh how he loved hugging her, where his embraces told her everything he couldn't say. He sighed internally, a wave of resignation passed over him. 

"Oh, she knows."

She had to. He could feel their love, sometimes it seemed almost tangible. He's sure she felt it too. He's had his heart and soul exposed to Rose Tyler for a long time, and he felt confident that she understood. So he finished unclipping his belt, hoping and praying that he made the right choice, and fell into the abyss.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope to make more of these, so please let me know if you have any bits you'd like a character study on!


End file.
